Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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