Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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