if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
