For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
