Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
