If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He better not be in your backpack
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
