You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You took a bar mat shot.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
