FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize