Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
