Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize