I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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