how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
