i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
