So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
