i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
