Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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