I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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