We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
