Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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