U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
