So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
