she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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