i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
