i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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