She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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