Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
