After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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