I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
