you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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