Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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