What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she smelled like a LAN party
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
