im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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