you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
