Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm having to shit out rocks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
