Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
