I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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