No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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