The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When are your genitals available?
You were trust falling into bushes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
