glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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