I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
