I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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