Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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