I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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