Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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