hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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