I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize
