Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize