Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
