Tell her she can't have a vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
please don't ironically join a cult
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