I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
