better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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