yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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