someone get that fucking seahorse.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
