Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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