Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize