my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
