2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
