So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize