can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
