i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
