During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
